4 Keys for Lasting Happiness Workshop

by Fraser Rose, Founder, The Happiness Academy

Key 1 – Positive Self-Esteem – I Highly Value Who I Am, Flaws and All.

Key 2 – Win-Win Relationships – I Am Kind; I Strive for Win-Win Relationships.

Key 3 – Stress Management – I Control Stress and Greet Challenges Confidently.

Key 4 – Self-leadership – I Use My Power of Choice to Choose Wisely in My Life.

Key 1 – Positive Self-Esteem – If I focus on all my faults, I fail to feel good about myself, not worthy of real happiness. But by accepting full responsibility for the relationship I have with myself, I can come to realize that I am worthy, "good enough" to enjoy healthy self-love. So yes, I'm willing to face the truth about myself – my real self, my true self – no matter how wonderful that may be.

Key 2 – Win-Win Relationships – Win-Win is all about mutual benefit. Other kinds of interpersonal relationships are toxic (win-lose, lose-win, lose-lose). Win-Win requires me to be kind – both to myself and to all others in my relationships. Kindness and happiness are highly correlated, and love is the purest fuel for kindness. ("What knowledge can you find that is greater than kindness?")

Key 3 – Stress Management – What always precedes mental and emotional stress are stressful thoughts. But we can control our thoughts and, when we do that well, we can control our stress. Yes:

Our feelings flow from our thoughts. (major premise)

We can control our thoughts; (minor premise)

Therefore, we can control our feelings. (logical conclusion)

Stress is a feeling: Controlling it successfully reaps huge physical and mental benefits.

Key 4 – Self-leadership:

Negative people and events in my life can hurt me,

Depending on how I respond to them,

But, I can choose my responses,

I can control my reactions

By using my greatest power,

My power of choice.

So, it's not what happens to me that matters most,

It's what I choose to do about it. That's what counts.

(I wonder: If I were to use my Power of Choice 30% better, how could that affect my life?)

Fraser Rose is career educator and counselling specialist who has served many years as a principal in Ontario schools, both public and private, both elementary and secondary. During the time he was supervising principal of schools on the Canadian Forces Base in Trenton, he was elected to four terms of office as a trustee on The Hastings County Board of Education, and served as Chairman of that Board for two terms. For the past 20 years, he has been a high school principal in Toronto.

Fraser Rose is a runner. In his last 10K road race, he was called to the stage for the fastest time in the senior women’s division. (Officials had mistakenly registered his as Rose, Fraser.) After they realized their error, Fraser was awarded second-place in the senior men’s division. (He hesitates to boast about that, however, as there were only two men in it.)

Fraser is the Founder of Happier For Free which offers weekly, no-cost tele-meetings for teenagers and adults suffering stress (wherever they live). Also, others who might share their humanity (their caring, their experience, their wisdom) with those who are hurting, are most welcome to join these tele-meetings.