There is compassion in the chaos for family/friends who have loved ones with mental health challenges including emotion dysregulation, BPD or other.

For Families of persons with Emotion Dysregulation: This group is for family / members and friends (parents, partner, siblings, adult children, friends)

Tonight's topic: Self-Validation: Healing from Hurt While Supporting a Loved-One

Invalidation is any message we get that we shouldn’t feel what we feel or be how we are. We may have internalized invalidating messages from our loved ones or in childhood. How can we begin to reverse the cycle? Our emotions will often stick around until we validate them and show them understanding—learn how to do this kind act for yourself. With Julie and Elizabeth.

Compassion in Chaos skills and support groups are now running every Monday at 630pm to 815pm. We will be learning skills each week and supporting each other. This group has both a psycho-ed component and a support discussion component. It is a drop in group so come each and every Monday you can. If you come consistently you will eventually learn all the core DBT skills and in this case advanced concepts also.

Getting support for yourself is crucial in order stay healthy for yourself and your sensitive beautiful loved one.

We use Zoom and will send out a link prior to the group.

You will need to register for each group to secure a spot. We will do our best to post groups well ahead so you may sign up in advance.

During Covid-19 we are discounting our groups from $55 to $40 to do our part to reach those in need.

We charge additional 20$ only for additional family members..

Also, it's a good idea to put yourself on our mailing list so you will be updated on upcoming help for both you and your loved ones and community events. Click here to be added to our mailing list!

About this Series:

Do you have a family member who has challenges regulating emotions? Do you feel like life with your loved one feels chaotic and hopeless? Do you feel helpless to know how to help, what to do or where to turn? Using principles of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy we will be learning skills that will help you cope/thrive better in your relationship with your special/sensitive loved one. Whether you are a new person to DBT or understanding BPD/DBT or a seasoned DBT program graduate we are sure you will benefit from this these workshops/groups

Facilitators:

Julie Hayden, MSW, RSW. PMP, DBT Therapist and facilitator

Elizabeth Spivey, Peer Support Worker, Mindfulness Teacher

Isabel Illumin, Social Service Worker, BSW

In these workshops we will be learning but not limited to the following:

What is BPD and DBT

What resources are out there for you and for your loved one

How to manage your distress when your loved one is escalated

How to stay regulated using self care and self sooth skills

Reducing your fear around the disorder

Why my loved one acts out in anger or uses harmful behaviours like self harm or addiction

How to accept my reality and theirs

Decreasing pain and suffering for you and your loved one through mindfulness

How to help deescalate your loved ones using validation and other techniques

How you can help to create awareness in the community to support your loved ones

You will learn that you are not alone and gain a powerful peer experience reinforcing a supportive community

You will learn specific techniques to help:

build, repair and maintain relationships

reduce reactivity

replace unhelpful behaviours with helpful strategies

reduce fearful living

mindfulness as a regular practice

build and use a distress tolerance box in a crisis

learn how to validate self and others

emotion regulation as a part of daily living

Learning DBT can be fun! We pride ourselves in making learning FUN and interactive! We use powerpoint presentations, videos, role plays, break out groups, games, interactive activities, DBT charades, and group discussions.

Julie Hayden, MSW, RSW oversees this group and is one of the facilitators. Julie specializes in working with clients with borderline personality disorder and other disorders where emotion regulation is a challenge. She has trained with University of Toronto, CAMH, Shelley McMain and the Marsha Linehan Inst. She has also been trained as a family DBT facilitator through NEABPD in the US.

Come and join us and create your life worth living for you and for your loved one.

Over a period of time and several workshops you will learn all the DBT concepts including core skills in each of the 4 modules (Emotion Regulation, Distress Tolerance, Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness)

Here are the topics to come over the coming months! Lots to learn!

Compassion in Chaos Drop-In Program, Fall-Winter 2021-2022

2021

October 4th

Crisis Analysis and Prevention: “How does this keep happening?!”

When our loved ones act out, it feels like they're going from 0 to 60 in the moment; however, thoughts and feelings can go off the rails well before rage, self-harm, or substance use happens. Understand your loved one’s crisis moments for prevention and insight. Analyze your own chain reaction to your loved one and see where you can improve. With Julie and Elizabeth.

November 8th

Calm Amidst the Storm: A Meditation Training in Compassionate Attention

Learn how to safely allow a strong emotion about your loved one to be present without acting it out. Instead, mindfully surf it and send your self some compassion. This training is great for people who suppress emotions and those who “act out” emotions. Start a values inventory to understand what matters most in your life. With Julie and Elizabeth.

November 15th

Check the Facts: The Power of Checking Our Negative Assumptions

Our judgments about our loved ones can send us spinning into a harmful reaction. Instead, we can Check the Facts and face our catastrophic thoughts calmly. Practice becoming aware of how your loved one is influenced by their negative distortions and judgements so you can help them. With Julie and Elizabeth.

November 22

Change Unwanted Emotions and Urges: The Powerful Skill of Opposite Action

When we have emotions that don’t fit the facts followed by urges that threaten to move us away from our goals and values, the skill we turn to is Opposite Action. Learn Opposite Action for when acting on your emotion is going to cause more harm than good, so that you can be the one in the driver’s seat, not your emotion. Help your loved one learn to “act opposite”. With Julie and Elizabeth.

November 29th

When It’s Just Not You: Solving Real World Problems to Change Emotions

Sometimes we’ve tried all kinds of “inner” solutions, and nothing is working! This can be because the source of our unwanted emotion is out in the world, not inside of us. DBT has a skill for this: Problem Solving. Help your loved one strategize and execute problem solving for more lasting emotional change and identify problems that need solving in your own life. With Julie and Isabel.

December 6th

Core Interpersonal Effectiveness in DBT: The DEAR MAN Skills

Become mindful of your priorities going into a difficult interaction to avoid getting off track. Know which skill to choose to obtain your objective with your loved one—or with anyone! These skills are great for relationships of any kind, personal or professional. With Julie and Isabel.

December 13th

DEAR MAN Practice: Putting Your Core Interpersonal Skills into Action

Rehearse the DEAR MAN skills to be ready for difficult, real-life scenarios. Learn how to combine the skills to maintain your self-respect while still validating your loved one AND getting something done! With Julie and Isabel.

December 20th

Validation is Oxygen, Steps 1-3: Listen, Reflect, and Check

Validation is the ultimate tool for building relationships of any kind and deescalating conflict with your loved one. We will walk you through the first three steps and practice them together, because validating your dysregulated loved one takes repeated practice! With Julie and Isabel.

December 27th: Winter Holiday Break

2022

January 3rd

Validation Is Oxygen, Steps 4-6: Their Causes, Your Actions, and Be Genuine

When we consider the causes behind our loved one’s dysregulation, validation flows more easily. Learn that validation is more than words: it’s actions. There is space in validation for our own radical genuineness: it’s a dialectic. With Julie and Isabel.

January 10th

Self-Validation: Healing from Hurt While Supporting a Loved-One

Invalidation is any message we get that we shouldn’t feel what we feel or be how we are. We may have internalized invalidating messages from our loved ones or in childhood. How can we begin to reverse the cycle? Our emotions will often stick around until we validate them and show them understanding—learn how to do this kind act for yourself. With Julie and Elizabeth.

January 17thSelf-Compassion 101: Meeting Disappointment and Hurt with Self-Compassion

Meet difficult moments with your loved one with more self-kindness in three easy steps. Learn to feel less alone and more connected in the world. Disarm your inner critic with Mindful Self-Compassion, a now widely studied and clinically practiced discipline. With Julie and Elizabeth.

January 24thAt Peace with My Emotions: Radically Accepting Painful Stuff, Steps 1&2

Break the cycle of fighting where your loved one is current at—or any other issue that requires acceptance. Learn the first two steps for making space for a painful reality in order not to make it worse. See your negativity begin to lessen and melt away with radical acceptance. With Julie and Elizabeth.

January 31st

Curious and Compassionate: Radically Accepting Painful Stuff, Steps 3&4

Continuing from last week, investigate what’s going on and learn to be curious instead of reacting when a strong emotion about your loved-one comes up. Continue to build your self-compassion skills with step four of the training. Remember, more compassion for yourself means more compassion for your loved one! With Julie and Elizabeth.

February 7th

Mindfulness of Thoughts: Becoming Less Reactive to Painful Thoughts

Learn to see thoughts as thoughts, NOT facts. This is the key to mindfulness! Do an exercise to become aware of the stories you are telling yourself and let them go—become more aware of your loved one’s judgments and interpretations. When we can watch a thought without reacting, this is the beginning of freedom. With Julie and Elizabeth.

February 14th: Valentine’s Day Break

February 21st

Being Mind and Doing Mind: Combatting Caregiver Burnout with Being Mind

Do you feel guilty when you allow yourself a break? Are you burning out from the constant worrying about and caring for others? Learn how to recharge and savor simple moments of Being Mind, while still allowing for Doing Mind in one of the main Dialectics in DBT. With Julie and Isabel.

February 28th

Behaviour Change: Give Up Unwanted Behaviours and Encourage New Ones

Learn reinforcement techniques to reduce unwanted behaviours and encourage wanted behaviours. Use reinforcement to build new healthy habits for yourself and encourage change in your loved one. Keep or renew those 2022 New Year’s resolutions! With Julie and Isabel.

March 7th

The Dialectic of Addiction Recovery: Aim for the Best and Plan for the Worse

How does DBT approach addiction recovery, or cravings and slips of any kind? Help your loved one in their recovery and learn Dialectical ways to approach your own goals for personal behaviour change. With Julie and Isabel.

March 14th

All Skills Review: An Interactive Trivia Game to Refresh All of the Skills

Gather your entire toolkit together so it’s ready for the world! Clarify any questions about the skills you’ve learned and get a brief introduction to any you missed. Have fun with your colleagues in the group playing DBT trivia! With Julie and Isabel.

March 21st

Reflect Back to Plan Ahead: Lessons Learned and Goal Setting

Reflect with your colleagues in the group on your skills journey and the lessons you are learning in dealing with your loved ones. Plan which skills you will use more of in the year ahead. Hear about what’s up next for Compassion in Chaos in Spring-Summer 2022. With Julie and Elizabeth